SallyOldcow's Blog

Tony Blair Eats, Shoots and Leaves

Posted in Uncategorized by sallyoldcow on July 18, 2010

It has been revealed that nineteen people were shot by Tony Blair during a dinner at a Labour Party Rally prior to the last General Election. Mr Blair was the After Dinner Speaker at the event. Eight people were pronounced dead at the scene and the remainder were admitted to hospital in critical condition where they remain to this day. The matter has been shrouded in secrecy until now but an allegation in a former colleague’s autobiography has brought the case into the open.

In an interview today with Al Jazeera, Mr Blair, former Prime Minister of Great Britain, said that a heckler had said something about a 45 minute warning at the beginning of his speech. Mr Blair had taken this to be a credible threat and when about 45 minutes had passed the man had raised his arms, possibly holding a weapon, and Mr Blair, to be on the safe side, had shot him. When asked to explain why so many people had been shot Mr Blair said ‘the numbers have beenĀ  exaggerated, but when eliminating threats it is inevitable that there would, on occasion, be some collateral damage’.

The man identified by Mr Blair as the heckler, who he claims had issued the 45 minute warning, has been identified as a journalist for the Daily Telegraph. In fact all the dead and injured are journalists. A camera belonging to the dead Daily Telegraph journalist has been handed over by a surviving colleague and the last image on its memory card is reproduced above.

Mr Blair has thus far declined to be interviewed by the Police and has insisted that any enquires are to be made through a Mr M Clifford.